


tired of the lies (but afraid of what the truth will bring)

by BookFangirlMaryJane



Series: TARDIS Advent Calendar Prompts [7]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Confessions, F/M, Fluff, Kissing, Light Angst, Post-Episode: s12e10 The Timeless Children, Secret Relationship, TARDIS Advent Calendar, Telepathy, Thoschei, Time Lord Telepathy (Doctor Who)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28138050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookFangirlMaryJane/pseuds/BookFangirlMaryJane
Summary: “You want to tell your little friends what we’re doing?” There is surprise in the Master’s voice, and the Doctor really can’t blame him for that.“Well, not… not going into details, you know… Just the general thing. That we’re… a thing.” This feels awkward. Is this awkward? A ‘thing’. Are they a thing? What kind of thing are they? They haven't really defined it yet. Partners? Lovers? Friends?“A thing,” he repeats, and she can hear the smirk in his voice.“Oh, shut up,” she mutters. “You know what I mean.”--o--TARDIS Advent Calendar (by Valc0), today's prompt is 'Christmas is the perfect time to introduce your alien partner to the family.'Warnings: post-series 12, spoilers, light angst.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Series: TARDIS Advent Calendar Prompts [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2041429
Comments: 6
Kudos: 52





	tired of the lies (but afraid of what the truth will bring)

**Author's Note:**

> I worked on this all of today and a lot of yesterday and I'm still late! Damn it...  
> Uhhh... timey-wimey shenanigans happened and it's actually still the 17th?
> 
> I don't know. Read on!

They’re cuddling in her bed, his hand slowly tracing patterns over her skin. Any other day, she would have relished it, followed every stroke of his fingers, enjoying the feeling, utterly focused on every inch of their skin pressed together like this.

Not today. Today, the Doctor's mind is restless, far away.

“What’s wrong?” the Master asks, poking her side and startling her out of her thoughts.

“Huh?” She blinks up at him.

“Your mind is lightyears away, Doctor. I can feel it, even if I don’t know where it is.” He looks a bit dismayed.

“Ah. Sorry. I was…” She trails off. How does she explain this best?

He gently pulls her into a kiss and she hums against his lips, perfectly fine with not answering him just yet. When he pulls back, there is something in his eyes she can’t quite name.

“When you’re in bed with me, you only think of **me** , Doctor. Nothing, and especially no **one** else,” he says, and _oh_ , jealous, he’s jealous. That’s what’s going on here.

She leans over him and presses a short kiss to his lips before sitting up. “I **was** thinking about you, actually. Sort of.”

“Oh?” He follows her up and the Doctor leans against his shoulder. “Do tell,” he purrs and nips at her earlobe, tongue swiping over the metal of her cuff. She shivers but keeps going.

“I was thinking about something. A thing I want to do.”

The Master raises a brow and smirks at her. “A **thing**?”

She scrunches up her face and smacks his arm lightly. “Not **that** kind of thing.” With a sigh, she pushes a strand of hair out of her eyes and looks at him.

“I’ve been thinking, and… The way we keep meeting like this, you know… All sneaky and stuff. And I… I don’t think I can keep doing it.”

Shocked, she watches as his expression darkens. “You want to stop this?” he asks, voice cold, face blank.

What? Oh. **OH**.

“No! I don’t… I mean the sneaking around, not… **us**. I’m tired of the secrecy, of the lying. I don’t want to keep this, us, from my fam.” She tugs at her sleeves and feels him put an arm around her to pull her closer.

“You want to tell your little friends what we’re doing?” There is surprise in the Master’s voice, and the Doctor really can’t blame him for that.

“Well, not… not going into details, you know… Just the general thing. That we’re… a thing.” This feels awkward. Is this awkward? A _‘thing’_. **Are** they a thing? What **kind** of thing are they? They haven't really defined it yet. Partners? Lovers? Friends?

“A **thing** ,” he repeats, and she can hear the smirk in his voice.

“Oh, shut up,” she mutters. “You know what I mean.”

For a moment, they’re both quiet.

“Alright. If you really want to tell them, I’m not stopping you. But you **do** remember that I tried to kill them, yes? They probably don’t have the best opinion of me. Especially Harkness.”

The Doctor grimaces. “Yeah, I know.” That’s going to require quite a lot of sweet-talking. And… “It’s gonna be a bit hard to explain this… given that I told them…” She fidgets. “Well, I kinda told them you… died. On… in that explosion.”

He laughs. “Oh, now I **really** want to be there when you tell them.”

She glares at him. “Not. A. Chance.”

**—o—**

She can’t believe she’s letting him be in the room while she tells her fam that he’s alive and that they’re… together, or something.

Sure, he’ll be invisible to them, but **she** can still feel that he’s there, can sense his body behind that lightshield, and it’s going to distract her, she already knows that. **He** will distract her.

“Okay, rules: you don’t talk, you don’t touch anything or anyone, you don’t deliberately distract me, you don’t do anything to make this harder for me or them. Don’t walk up behind me, stay in my field of vision at all times, do not take off that watch and do not, under **any** circumstances, kill Jack.”

The Master’s smirk is doing absolutely **nothing** to stop her from worrying about this. Holding out a beckoning hand, he pulls the Doctor into his arms. She buries her face in the crook of his neck and breathes. She’s nervous. She’s so goddamn nervous. She doesn’t think she can do this on her own.

“It’s going to be alright, Doctor,” he mutters, rubbing circles into her back, carding a hand through her hair. “They’re your friends, they know you, they trust in your judgment, even if sometimes they really, **really** shouldn’t, mostly regarding fashion sense and running blindly into danger, and they all love you. They’ll kick up a bit of a fuss at first but if they’re truly your friends, they will accept that I am, and always will be, a part of your life.”

She weakly chuckles into his shoulder and then steps back, smiles at him. “Thank you. I think I needed someone to tell me that.”

He brushes a strand of hair out of her face and cups her cheek. “I know. I wouldn’t have said it otherwise,” he states with a grin. She just rolls her eyes and gives him a quick kiss. “Alright, turn that watch on now, I’ll get us to Sheffield and then I’ll… tell my fam.”

The Master leans close and presses a soft kiss to her forehead. “Shall I go and make tea for them? Prepare some biscuits and sandwiches, bring it to the library? It would take off some of the edge. Tea, I mean. It’s supposed to help with conversation, or so I’ve heard.”

“If… if you’d do that, yes, please.”

He gives her a long look. “Only this once. And only for you, luv. Because you’re stressed as it is and I don’t want to add to that.”

Oh, she doesn’t deserve him sometimes. “Thank you, so much.” She gives him a soft kiss and then lets him go.

As he disappears down the hall, the Doctor turns to the console and quickly types in the coordinates. Her hands are shaking a little bit, but she feels calmer than before. Pulling the lever to take off, she takes several deep breaths. It’s fine. It’s okay. Everything is going to be alright.

**—o—**

“So, Doc, what did you want to talk about?” Graham asks, taking a sip from his tea and immediately pulling a surprised face. “Did you try something new with the tea? This is delicious.”

For a second, hazel eyes flicker over to where the Master is. She can feel him give her a cheeky grin. The Doctor fights hard not to roll her eyes. Of course his tea is fantastic. It always is.

“Yeah, tried something… new. Uhm.”

She fidgets with her coat sleeves. How does she do this? Do normal people ever do this? Do humans just go up to their families and introduce their… partners? She knows that humans usually don’t have best enemies but… lovers. And those are introduced, right?

“Doctor, what’s going on?” Yaz asks. Brilliant, observant Yaz. The Doctor nods her head at nothing and pulls her lip between her teeth.

“Alright, so I gotta tell you guys something.” At the cautious faces, she hastens to add: “Nothing **bad**! Really, it’s not bad. Not really. Ninety percent not bad. Sixty-eight percent. You might be upset for a bit. A long time. Possibly. But I’m very much hoping you won’t be.”

Jack gives her a look. “Doctor, sit down and tell us what you’re talking about. You’re making me nervous. And I don’t get nervous.”

“You sure? Because just yesterday, I heard you scream for Graham to kill a spider,” Ryan points out with a cheeky grin. When Jack turns to him with a betrayed look and the others chuckle, the Doctor has a moment to glance at the Master. In her mind, he gives her an encouraging smile.

Slowly, she sinks into an armchair opposite her fam and looks at them. “Alright. There’s a thing I’ve been meaning to tell you. Like, a long time. Well, moderately long time. Well, not really long time. Well, I’ve been thinking about telling you for a shorter time but it’s been longer than that shorter time that it’s been…”

Where is she **going** with this?

**_‘Relax, luv. Take a breath. Calm down.’_ **

She follows his instructions and looks at her fam. Their worried looks don't exactly help.

“I’m _kindamaybesorta_ seeing someone,” the Doctor blurts out and immediately slaps a hand over her mouth.

Shocked silence. She is quick to fill it.

“Alright, _‘seeing someone’_ is kind of the wrong word for it. But we haven't, I mean, I’m not quite sure what else to call it to make you guys really understand what I mean and I’m not sure how to explain it better and I’m very nervous about this and I’m babbling and I’m shutting up now.”

Oof… She feels weird.

**_‘Seeing someone?’_ **

_‘What else was I supposed to call it?! We haven't… talked about labels.’_

**_‘For good reason. We never needed one before.’_ **

_‘But they wouldn’t understand it otherwise. You know human languages don’t manage to get across what we are.’_

**_‘I know. Now, focus. They’re about to ask questions.’_ **

And indeed they are. The Doctor gives them all a helpless smile.

“You’re… seeing someone. As in, dating someone?” Yaz asks, surprise coloring her voice.

“Mhm, yeah, dating. Or something. I’m not sure _‘dating’_ is the right word, either.”

Jack chuckles. “Wow. How long have you been… seeing this mystery person?”

Tricky question.

“Uhm. I’m not… sure? Y’know, timetravel and all…” she manages to talk her way out of answering that one without raising alarm bells. “But it’s been a while now. And, well, we were kinda sneaking around because I’m not, I don’t… I don’t do this kind of stuff? Introducing people to my fam. But, with Christmas coming up, I was thinking maybe I should?”

“You want to invite the person you’re seeing over for Christmas, then? And you want to check with us if that’s okay.” Smart Ryan. She nods quickly and gives him a hesitant smile. “Yeah, sorta like that. And, you know, I didn’t want to lie to you guys anymore.”

**_‘You want to invite me for Christmas?’_ **

_‘If you… if you want to come, and if my fam doesn’t freak out once they know it’s you, yeah…’_

**_‘Oh. Alright.’_ **

Jack leans forward and grins at the Doctor. “So, when do we meet this mystery person of yours, Doctor?”

She fidgets with her sleeves and chews on her lip and tries very hard not to run away. This is hard. This is very hard. She doesn’t think she can…

**_‘Breathe.’_ **

The Doctor breathes.

“Uhm. So. It’s kinda complicated. I’m not sure how to...” She trails off, not sure how to properly explain it.

Her fam just looks at her in confusion. She breathes and tries not to freak out.

**_‘It’s alright, luv. I’m here. You can do this.’_ **

“Right,” she mutters.

“Who is it, Doc?” Graham asks, and she glances up at him. Then glances at Jack and the other two. Damn it, she should have done this one first, shouldn’t she?

“I lied,” she says quickly, tugging on a loose thread on her shirt. It’s fascinating.

**_‘Focus, luv.’_ **

The Doctor grimaces. Her eyes flicker up at her fam and back into her lap. She gets up and starts pacing.

“Okay, so remember when…” No, she can’t start like this.

“Jack, this might be… something you don’t want to really hear. All of you, actually. It’s…”

Fuck. She can’t do this.

**_‘You don’t have to. You can say it’s too early for you to tell them and try again later,’_** he whispers in her mind. **_‘But if you want this to be over, I’d just get it out now and then deal with the fall-out.’_**

Wow, he’s good at this whole support thing.

The Doctor turns and looks right at Jack. “Remember the Valiant?”

His mouth falls open. “ **No**.”

She shrugs a little. “Yeah? I’m… sorry.” She’s not, not really.

The rest of her fam just looks back and forth between them, confused.

Jack exhales slowly. “Alright. You’re…” He shakes his head, pulls a flask from his coat pocket and takes a long sip. The Doctor wants to ask if she can have a sip, too. “So. I actually suspected there was something between the two of you.”

**_‘I’m sorry,_** what ** _?!’_**

“I’m sorry, **_what_**?”

He gives her a look. “Doctor, you were full-on sobbing over his corpse in your arms. No offense, but it was obvious.”

Huh. That’s… okay.

**_‘You were sobbing over my corpse?’_** the Master asks.

_‘Shut up. I thought I’d lost you, again, after finding the only other survivor of... You don’t get to judge me for being upset.’_

**_‘I’m not. I’m not proud of what that one did. He was… an awful little shit.’_ **

She almost laughs.

“Wait, this person you’re dating died?” Yaz asks, now clearly beyond confused.

The Doctor draws in a shaky breath. “Not really. It was, uhm, sort of fake, and he came back later. It’s a whole thing with him.”

**_‘Rude.’_ **

_‘It’s true, though, isn't it?’_

**_‘It’s still rude.’_ **

The Doctor rakes a hand through her hair and paces a bit in front of the table. How does she explain this to the rest of them? Jack seems oddly alright with it. Oddly calm.

**_‘He’s probably going to threaten to shoot me should I ever hurt you or your other friends,’_** the Master suggests. Yes, okay, that sounds like Jack.

Ryan is watching her, head tilted slightly to the side. “He didn’t die, did he?”

She focuses on him and he goes on: “You said you lied to us. He didn’t die.”

He’s too smart, that boy. “Yes. And I’m sorry that I lied. I just didn’t know how to… properly explain. I’m trying, though.”

Finally, it clicks for Yaz. “Hang on, you’re not… you’re not talking about the **Master** , are you?” She sounds like even suggesting it is ludicrous. When the Doctor doesn’t deny her words, however, her eyes go wide. “You’re kidding, right? You’re not really dating the Master, Doctor.”

She fidgets. “I… am. He didn’t die. We met up, after… And we talked through some stuff and now we’re, y’know, a thing. Or something.”

“Or **something**?! Doctor, he tried to murder us! He almost killed us on that plane! He tried to kill the entire human race! Doesn’t that **matter** to you?”

**_‘So she’s not handling it very well. Not surprising.’_ **

_‘Shut up.’_

“Yaz, that’s not…” The Doctor sighs. “Our… relationship is complicated. We’ve been friends since we were children. And alright, he did some things that weren’t great, but so have I. And he’s trying. Like I said, we talked. Cleared up some misunderstandings. Had a long hearts-to-hearts.”

When that doesn’t convince them, she tries: “He’s sorry. For what he did.”

**_‘Not really.’_ **

_‘Shush!’_

**_‘The old one isn't saying anything. You’re gonna ask why?’_ **

The Doctor’s eyes flicker over to Graham. “You haven't… said anything yet, Graham.”

He sighs and looks at her. “Does he make you happy?”

She doesn’t have to think.

“Yes.”

**_‘Ecstatic.’_ **

_‘Oh, shush, you.’_

“Does he hurt you?”

“No.” She hesitates. “He’s trying not to.”

**_‘I am.’_ **

_‘I know.’_

“And you trust him?”

Does she?

“Yes.”

_‘I do.’_

**_‘You shouldn’t.’_ **

_‘I can’t help it.’_

**_‘I know.’_ **

He considers for a moment. “From what we saw, and from what Jack told us, he’s not a good person. He killed a lot of people.”

A choked chuckle slips over her lips. “I killed a lot of people, too. And sometimes I don’t think I’m a good person, either. But I try. And he’s trying, too. Can you… give him a chance?”

Yaz is frowning at her. “But you’re different. You always give the bad guys a chance before… You do what you have to. He does it because… I don’t know. Because it’s fun or something. He’s a psychotic murderer!”

The Doctor feels something in her break.

She does what she has to? No, she doesn’t. She could get them all arrested, or banished. She doesn’t have to kill anyone, but she can’t… It’s easy, sometimes. How could she blame him for what he does when she does exactly the same, with the only difference being that she lies about her reasons and he doesn’t?

“He’s my friend.”

And yes, that doesn’t excuse it, but it’s all she has.

Jack sighs. “Can you promise that he won’t hurt us?”

**_‘I won’t. You’d get upset with me.’_ **

_‘Not the right reason but I’ll take it.’_

“He won’t hurt you,” the Doctor promises.

Yaz is still not convinced. “He tried to **kill** us, Doctor! How can you not hate him for that?”

Biting her lip, the Doctor considers how to explain it best.

“It’s…”

He sends her a memory. The two of them, back in the Academy, when he grabbed her book and she chased him through the streets, all the way out of the city, until they were both out of breath, and then he suddenly stopped, turned back and gave her the most beautiful smile in the world.

She fell a little in love with him then.

“It’s like two kids playing, and one of them takes the other’s toy because they don’t know how else to show that they like the other kid.”

Does that make sense?

**_‘There is a human equivalent. Something with hair pulling, I believe,’_** the Master points out.

“Like one kid pulling the other’s hair? Is that… a thing?”

Ryan snorts. “So, what? The Master tried to kill us and you to show you that he likes you? Is that really what you’re saying?”

With a shrug, the Doctor leans on her armchair’s headrest. “Basically, yeah. ‘Course, it’s a pretty bad way to show affection. But neither of us is really good with talking about that kind of thing.”

**_‘Understatement.’_ **

_‘Hush.’_

She sighs and looks at her fam. “Can you please try to accept that we’re a thing? You don’t have to see him if you don’t want to. We can still only meet up when you guys aren’t here. I just wanted you to know. I don’t want to lie to you. But if you don’t… if you can’t accept him, we can… stay out of your way or something.”

It hurts to even get the words out but she doesn’t want them to feel pressured. Even if she wants them to accept the Master as part of her life.

**_‘You’re an idiot, luv.’_ **

_‘I know.’_

**_‘You sure you want to keep up the sneaking around?’_ **

_‘I don’t mind the sneaking around, I just mind the lying and the secrecy. They’ll… they’ll know that I’m with you, even if they don’t have to see you.’_

Suddenly, Jack gets up and pulls her into a tight hug. The Doctor freezes, arms lax by her side, eyes wide. “What…?”

When he pulls away, he gives her a sad smile. “It’s alright. I don’t mind. If he makes you happy and if you trust him, then I’m okay with it. And it’s not like we can really tell you what to do. But this is clearly important to you, Doctor, and if you say he’s changed then I trust you.”

**_‘I told you they’d understand it.’_ **

_‘You did. Thank you.’_

“Thank you, Jack,” the Doctor says. Her throat is tight for some weird reason.

She glances at the others. Ryan and Graham look ready to get up and hug her, too.

“I agree with Jack. If he makes you happy and if you’re sure he won’t hurt anyone, then I will try not to judge him too harshly,” the older man says with a kind smile. Oh, she doesn’t deserve them. They’re too good for her.

“What Graham said,” Ryan says and then adds: “And, well, you’ve clearly known each other for ages now. I don’t think we have the right perspective to say whether you two should be together or not, right? We only saw one side of him, while you’ve known him for… How long?”

“We met when we were children. ‘Bout… two thousand years ago? Give or take a couple decades, I think,” the Doctor offers, biting her lip as soon as the words are out.

Her fam stares at her and she shrugs. “Anyway.” Nervously, she looks at Yaz. The girl hasn’t given her okay yet.

“You don’t have to agree or like it just because the others did, Yaz,” she mutters quietly. “What he did was… not great, and I understand if you don’t want anything to do with him.” She really **would** understand it. Martha left because of what he did. She honestly expected Jack to be the one most vehemently against this but he surprised her.

“I just don’t understand it, Doctor. Why him?”

For a moment, the Doctor pauses. There are a lot of reasons but most of them aren’t her fam’s business, quite frankly.

“Well, like I said, I’ve known him since we were both children. Met at the Academy, Time Lord school, and instantly became friends.” After he tried to steal her lunch and she socked him right in the face. His nose was broken for ages. “He’s…” _my everything._ “He knows me. And I know him.”

She tries to find the right words. Fails. Gives up with a sigh. “There is a term for it but human languages aren’t as compatible to translate it in a way that would make sense to you. But I feel safe with him and I trust him and I love him and…”

What did she call it before? When Bill asked her, she explained it somehow.

“He’s the only person even remotely like me.” Yes, that explains it best. “He’s the only one left. And… and if you can’t accept that, then that’s okay, but I’m not… I’m not going to stop loving him.” She couldn’t, anyway.

She has two hearts. And while her friends, her companions, all the people she loves, have a place in one of them, the other one of her hearts will always belong to him.

Completely.

**_‘Doctor, stop being soft or I have to come over there and kiss the living daylights out of you.’_ **

A smile tugs on her lips. _‘Sorry.’_

Yaz sighs. “Well, I still don’t understand it, but if you think it’s the right call…”

With a small smile, the Doctor ducks her head. “Thank you, guys. That really means a lot to me.”

Jack pats her shoulder and then grimaces.

“You’re not seriously inviting him over for Christmas, though, right? Because I don’t feel like getting the Master a present.”

A chorus of agreements fills the room and the Doctor feels the eyeroll in her mind.

**_‘I don’t particularly want to get them present, either.’_ **

_‘But you’re getting me one, right?’_

**_‘…’_ **

_‘Because I’m getting you one.’_

“You don’t have to. And I don’t have to invite him if you don’t want me to.” They’ll just have a private Christmas later, just the two of them.

**_‘How sweet.’_ **

_‘If you want to see it that way.’_

**_‘You're not?’_ **

_‘Well, if there’s no one around, we can stay in bed all day.’_

**_‘I like the way you’re thinking, Doctor.’_ **

Her fam exchanges looks. “Can we think about it?” Ryan requests.

The Doctor nods immediately. “Of course. I don’t want to overwhelm you guys. Take all the time you need.” She fidgets. “D’you want me to leave you alone for a bit? To process? And then we can have an adventure?”

After another exchanged glance, they all nod.

“Alright. I’ll leave you to it, then. Come find me when you're ready.” She gives them all a smile and then leaves the room. Behind her, she can feel the Master follow. They walk all the way to the control room and then he pulls her into his arms, the lightshield falling away.

The Doctor wraps her arms around him and just breathes. “Thank you for being there with me,” she whispers. He presses his lips against the crown of her head. “Of course, luv.”

“They took it better than I expected.”

He snorts. “I told you. They’re your friends, they trust you. Even if I expect Harkness to threaten me with a gun the first time we’re alone in a room. And the girl will be suspicious of me for a while yet. Not that I blame her.”

She chuckles weakly. “Yeah. You should probably apologize for the plane thing when you meet them next. And apologize to Jack for the Valiant thing.”

“I will.” He grimaces. “I hate apologizing to people.”

“Well, better get used to it, because they’re not leaving, and you’re not leaving, either,” the Doctor declares before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“I’m not, am I?” he whispers against the top of her head.

“You’re not. Not if I have a say in it.”

The Master sighs. “Well, then, I should start practicing apologies, shouldn’t I? And I really need to find a Christmas present for you.”

“That you do,” the Doctor mutters before pulling him into a deep kiss. He’s not leaving. He’s not leaving her.

**_‘I will never leave you, luv,’_** he promises.

_‘And I will never leave you,’_ she breathes back.

They’re together. And that’s all that matters.

** The End **

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah.  
> The Master is using that watch thingy from the 'Caretaker' episode, you know, with Danny and Clara and Twelve in the school? The watch that bends light around the person wearing it to make them invisible? But Time Lords can still somehow sense it? Yeah.
> 
> I. have no idea what that title is. It's late, alright, and it's already the wrong day, and I really don't have the energy to think up anything more creative. If I think of something better later, I might change it, but probably not.
> 
> Yeah, I'll stop now.
> 
> There won't be any story on the 18th and 19th. I considered it but I really don't feel like writing anything for them at the moment. Definitely on the 20th, though. I already have a brilliant idea.
> 
> Stay safe, everyone!


End file.
